Decisions.. incisions.

It is only Tuesday and this week has already kicked my butt.

The past few days have left me feeling extremely low. Maybe it's my mind processing/dealing with all the changes soon to come. Maybe it's because I'm pms-ing (sure isn't helping!). But maybe, it's because it seems like all I do anymore is put all of my energy into putting out fires at work to keep the office running, to then come home to finish homework assignments for my college on-line courses till 11 o'clock at night. Barely having time to do anything else...and when I do have time I am so mentally exhausted, all I want to do is not think about or do *anything*. Oh, that and sleep. I love my bed so much. My brain just wants to shut down by Friday night. Even getting started on writing a post for this blog feels difficult. Ridiculous, I know.

"Wah. Wah. Wah. Quit yer bitchin." That's what I want to and should be saying to myself right now. Negativity gets you no where. Though sometimes that "boo-boo face" of self pity is inevitable. As long as it is short lived. That being said, I want to say sorry to my boyfriend for being a ':( ' last few days. You always stick by me and try to help even when I'm being butthead. I love you <3X

The main point of this blog was to talk about my p.s. dr appointment this Thursday. Though they said I didn't need to come back until my pre-op appointment, I decided I wanted to go back to discuss a little more in depth about implant type, size, shape, choice of incision location, etc. Doing a nipple sparing pbm can have great results from what I have seen, but I have read conflicting information on which location of the incision gives the best chance for tissue survival. As long as the shape/size of the implant has a good cosmetic result and my natural nipple/areola tissue survives the surgery, I don't really care about the size or placement of the scar. A scar is a symbol I will wear proudly. I know the risk of losing my nips is there no matter what. But if a choice of incision location can improve my chances of keeping them, I want to have that knowledge ahead of time.

Another reason I want to meet with him is to discuss how many cc's he will feel comfortable with in concern to my weekly or bi-weekly fills. I seem to read that most women doing 50- 80 cc's at a time, but I would rather push through the pain and do 100-120 cc's at a time to get done quicker. I also wonder if filling at a higher rate like that would be dangerous? I am trying to get all my surgeries done by December 31st so I don't have to pay another deductible for the second surgery. *Crosses fingers*

So, my appointment will hopefully answer questions and give me a little more peace about the surgery.

To end this on a positive-

1. Wicked is coming to Atlanta! Finally! :D It isn't until September and I will probably still be somewhat medicated and healing... but I am totally having someone take me!!

2. I found some really tasty gummi bear multi-vitamins yesterday. haha. I am a horrible pill taker.